Thursday, May 21, 2009


Otto von Bismarck has a famous quote involving laws & sausages & their unsightly origins, but this has always seemed a slight against sausages. I could definitely do without laws, but sausages... sausages are another matter altogether. Like the pigs most sausages are made from, sausages take substandard food & transform it, almost magically into something delicious & integral to the culture. There is something alchemical about stuffing this meat back into its own intesting, something ouroborotic about it. No? Maybe Bismarck was right though, in that there is a base reality to the sausage, just like laws, because even though i personally can do without them, they are a dirty mechanism for the messy society we live in.
Hans Volzer - Sausage Magnate
Hans Volzer - Sausage Magnate from a Children of the Moon campaign i'm running.
"The living being had no need of eyes when there was nothing remaining outside him to be seen; nor of ears when there was nothing to be heard; and there was no surrounding atmosphere to be breathed; nor would there have been any use of organs by the help of which he might receive his food or get rid of what he had already digested, since there was nothing which went from him or came into him: for there was nothing beside him. Of design he was created thus, his own waste providing his own food, and all that he did or suffered taking place in and by himself. For the Creator conceived that a being which was self-sufficient would be far more excellent than one which lacked anything; and, as he had no need to take anything or defend himself against any one, the Creator did not think it necessary to bestow upon him hands: nor had he any need of feet, nor of the whole apparatus of walking; but the movement suited to his spherical form was assigned to him, being of all the seven that which is most appropriate to mind and intelligence; and he was made to move in the same manner and on the same spot, within his own limits revolving in a circle. All the other six motions were taken away from him, and he was made not to partake of their deviations. And as this circular movement required no feet, the universe was created without legs and without feet." ~Plato

This fantastic piece "Uprising of Sausages & Hot Dogs" is by Sergey Tyukanov.
Everything in life has an end. Only sausages have two.


  1. Hanz Volzer huh?

  2. Hans Volzer: hardened sausage magnate. Fought tooth & nail to revitalize his family's sausage company & to dominate the sausage market in Salsiccia. Is known to have personally killed (& rumored to have turned them into sausage) most of his early competition during the more lawless years in Salsiccia.